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Column By Pegine Echevarria

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What makes you feel uncomfortable?

* Attending a party where you don't know anyone?

* Making a presentation?

* Talking to someone who is different than you in gender,

race, ethnicity or religion?

* Going to dinner with a diverse group?

Why not let yourself be uncomfortable and do the following

actions, even if you get tongue tied, nervous, or

frustrated:

* When you go to a party where you don't know someone,

breathe deeply, and head directly to someone who is

different, put your hand out to introduce yourself, ask

their name and what brought them to the event.

* When making a presentation give them a piece of candy as a

prize. You will quickly make friends and they will love you

for it! May not be healthy but it works.

* When talking to someone who is different than you say,

"What would I find surprising about you that I couldn't tell

from looking at you?" It is amazing what you will learn. I

am always glad that I asked because I always learn something

so interesting. By the way be really interested in them when

you ask.

* Find the most diverse people you can and invite them to

dinner. Expose yourself to new people. Don't know any

diverse people? Take a class in a different part of the city

to meet new people. Volunteer at a different school than

your kid's school.

Kick-butt actions:

When you are in an uncomfortable situation follow this

process:

1. Breathe. Really focus on your breathing. Often times when

we are uncomfortable, we breathe in shallow breaths. This

makes us even more stressed. By forcing ourselves to breathe

deeply we begin to take control of the situation.

2. What is the goal? When we get uncomfortable we lose track

of the goal. What did we want to accomplish at this moment?

I get uncomfortable when I feel like I have too much on my

to do list. When that occurs I have to review my list. What

is income producing? What is truly necessary to accomplish

today?

3. Is this a habit? Often being uncomfortable is a habit.

Sometimes we are so addicted to the drama around being

uncomfortable, we make ourselves feel uncomfortable when it

really isn't necessary just because it is what we have

always done. Humans, we can be weird sometimes.

4. Expect the best. We get uncomfortable because we expect

bad things to happen the boogie man will get us. When we

start to expect the best we find that we eliminate our

uncomfortable feelings.

Of course in the beginning we can feel uncomfortable because

we are expecting different outcomes then we have before. Do

it anyway and expect the best.

Have You?

* Called or stopped by your local fire station and said

thank you?

* Stopped to thank your local police professional?

* Given a flower to someone in a wheel chair?

* Told your wife/husband how wonderful they are?

* Given a cake to a neighbor?

* Just smiled at someone in the elevator?

Corny? Yes. Powerful? Absolutely!